Let me start off by acknowledging that this is not the first time that this is ever happened. Other people have turned 30 before. In fact, everyone that is fortunate enough to live this long turns 30. It’s one of those grim certainties, death, taxes and turning 30 if you live long enough.
Having said that, and even having accepted all of that in my rational mind, for some reason turning 30 is just hard to accept. I’ve talked with others about that, and they all feel the same way. And everyone falls in to one of two categories:
Type I – the failing-to-meet-expectations variety
This type is generally single and may or may not live at home with his parents. Generally speaking, this type has very little money may not have a solid career. Type Is frequent bars and nightclubs, are known to hook up with strangers, and sometimes forget to pay parking tickets. Parents of Type I individuals may express concern about whether they will “eventually get their shit together.”
People within this category feel that turning 30 underscores how little they have accomplished in life. They feel as though they have failed to meet others’, and possibly their own, expectations for what a person should have accomplished by the age of 30.
Type II – the finding-out-that-meeting-expectations-isn’t-that-exciting variety
This type is married, often with children, or if not children at least pets. Type II individuals often have a stable job and may own a home or condominium. These individuals rarely frequent bars and clubs and spend most of their time at home tending to their brood.
People in this category view turning 30 as a loss of youth and as confirmation that they are indeed “old.” They begin to feel bodily aches and pains more acutely as they approach 30, and remember fondly the good old days of being a high school football player or cheerleader.
Although I sympathize with people suffering from the Type II affliction, I am definitely a Type I sufferer.
Why am I upset about turning 30? I have no money and a mountain of student debt. In fact I’m still in school. I have a live in boyfriend but we have no future plans. I’m about to move in with my friend’s mom, which is only a small step above living with my own mom. I go out a lot, and I continue to act irresponsibly. (Case in point, last weekend I got kicked out of a bar for being too drunk). I drive a 15 year old car and the check engine is perpetually on.
I always thought as a kid that being 30 meant that I would be “all grown up.” By this time I thought I would have a house, a husband and a job. Unfortunately none of these things have happened, and it’s led to me feeling a little down about my life.
I remember when I was growing up, every single day before school my mom would say “be your best self.” Rather than crumpling up into a ball of despair over what I’m lacking, I am going to make my 30th year on this Earth the best one ever.
Finally, I am going to try to be my best self. Every day.
The One-Third Life Crisis 